


Clown College

by Ziggo001



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, Cryptozoology, F/M, Gen, Other, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Rare Pairings, Recreational Drug Use, Roommates, Slow Burn, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziggo001/pseuds/Ziggo001
Summary: Vriska, a third-year psychology student has finally moved out and into the perfect home. She thinks luck is on her side, but it turns out that her one roommate is none other than her university's local urban legend Gamzee. The stories that surround him would have you doubt whether such a guy can even exist. Vriska is determined to find out what the deal is with this pajama wearing cryptid and won't hesitate to use everything in her power to uncover the truth.There will be romance between our two main characters. Eventually. Somehow. Black or red? Who knows.More characters will be introduced with minor and major roles.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara & Vriska Serket, Gamzee Makara/Vriska Serket, Terezi Pyrope & Vriska Serket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. How exciting

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first fanfiction ever and I'm really excited to post it! I hope some people get a laugh out of it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tale of Gamzee

“I once saw him during chemistry, when he was-“ a second-year student began.

“Wait, I thought he was a literature student?” a first-year student interrupted.

“Oh. She doesn’t _know_ ,” a third-year student said with a glint in her eye. “How exciting!”

Vriska held onto her drink for dear life as other students gathered around her to hear the stories about her new roommate. This was certainly not what she expected after she happily announced that she had finally managed to move out and rent a room on campus. She was just trying to make conversation while partying with some other students.

It had taken her over a year to move out, but she had gotten around to it last week. Vriska had thought that moving out would take too much time. She despised owing other people, and with her busy schedule it was hard to move all of her stuff on her own. Don’t even ask how she managed, but she did. She had found an ideal place that was close to the university building of her faculty, so the move would save her a lot of commuting time in the long run. Totally worth the effort!

Vriska had her room to herself, including her own bathroom, and had to share her kitchen in the common area with only one other roommate. Most students she knew had to share their common area with more than four other people. What a drag that would be. Any potential roommate would likely be a lot lazier than she was. Then again, she set a high bar. Vriska considered herself lucky having to deal with the whims of only one lousy roommate.

That is, until tonight.

The third-year student, her friend Feferi, looked at the short first-year student. “So you don’t know! You first-years always fall for it!” She laughed heartily and called over one of her peers. “Hey, where were you when you saw that weird guy? You know, polka dot pajama pants!”  
The girl looked a few years older than Vriska and appeared to be another third-year student. Her face turned to excitement when she understood that it was time to introduce another unsuspecting young student to the tale. “Oh, you mean Gamzee? I saw him at neuropsychology once. But my friend the next town over said that she has seen him in her psychology class, and she doesn’t even go to the same university as us.”

Vriska’s shock was tangible, and Feferi seemed to be enjoying it. “Tell her what you saw,” Feferi said to her peer.

“I couldn’t believe it, Vriska. He was sitting in the lecture hall at five minutes before nine. I had trouble getting to that early class on time and _believe me_ , I tried to. You’d think he had all his shit together, being up early like that, if it weren’t for those pajama pants. Everyone I’ve talked to has seen him wear the exact same polka dot pajama pants everywhere he goes. You know, I was actually early to that class for once and I didn’t even see him walk in. Suddenly, he was just _there_. You’d think I would’ve seen him walk in, but I didn’t. Anyway, you know what he did next?”

She paused, and Vriska shook her head to get her to continue her story.

“Right as the professor was about to start the class, he reached into his backpack and took out this huge fucking McDonald’s bag and began eating. It was like a full menu with extra fries or some shit.”

“So, you’re telling me this guy is weird?”

“You have no idea,” said Feferi. “He’s a bit of a legend around here, Vris. I can’t believe you haven’t seen him, ever. You’ve been here for, what, two years now? Everyone has their Gamzee story. I guess there was bound to be someone who hadn’t seen him at all, though I didn’t think it was possible. Ah, this whole just keeps getting better and better.”

Vriska began feeling annoyed. “You’re messing with me. How can a guy be in all these different classes. What’s he a student of, for real?”

The other girl replied: “No idea. Not even us senior students know. He’s been around longer than all of us. Nobody knows if he’s even taking any classes.”

“Or if he’s ever been enrolled at all.” Feferi added with a wink.

“You’re messing with me,” Vriska repeated. “Trying to get me to worry about something as stupid as that.”

“Nope. We really don’t know, Vris. I’m sorry. Good luck with him, though. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be roommates with _him_.”


	2. Cahoooooooots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska is in cahoots with Terezi

The following day did not allow Vriska to give any thought to the stories of last night. It was her day off, and in Vriska’s case, a day off means a day to study. By the time she felt satisfied enough to put her books away, it was already dinner time.

As soon she stood up from her chair, her thoughts turned to her roommate. Not wanting to cook after a full day of studying, she grabbed some leftovers and put them in the microwave. As she watched the display count down, the gears in her head started to turn. It had been a full week since she had moved in and she hadn’t seen him yet. The elusive Gamzee. There had been some noises during the night, presumably from his room, but Vriska couldn’t be sure about this.

She looked down the hallway for any sign of life from her cohabitant. Next to their front door were six empty plastic bottles, where two days before there were only four. Her eyes continued to wander and fixed themselves on the door to Gamzee’s room. Vriska wondered if he was home right now. She could give his door a knock, but she was not in the mood to deal with any of his bullshit right now. No, this issue required a more sophisticated approach. She took her food from the microwave and settled back down at her desk. She opened her laptop and started messaging a friend. 

AG: Terezi are you there?  
AG: You’re not going to believe this!  
GC: What???  
AG: This food I cooked up yesterday is so good.  
GC: Yeah I know you told me yesterday >:\  
AG: And I’m still not letting you have some! Hahahaha!  
AG: But that’s not why I messaged you.  
GC: >:?  
GC: ........  
GC: You sure are typing a lot

You then proceed to write three paragraphs of text before hitting enter, relaying the events of the first chapter to your best friend.

GC: AHAHAHAHAHA Vriska this is amazing  
GC: I cant believe you have never seen him  
AG: Oh maaaaaaaan don’t tell me you know him too.  
GC: I think it was 3 months ago  
AG: Did you see him?  
GC: I ran into him at the cafeteria  
AG: The one at the law building?  
GC: Yeah that 1  
GC: I was going to get lunch during my break  
GC: Guess who was in front of me in line  
GC: I didnt notice it at 1st  
GC: Youd think that Id notice a weird smell or something?  
GC: Since he supposedly always wears the same pajama pants  
GC: But no I remember that he smelled kind of nice  
AG: Oh my god Pyrope stop being so weird and get on with it!  
GC: Like cotton candy >;]  
GC: Anyway he was in front of me, but when he had to pay I heard a lot of coins fall on the counter  
GC: Nobody said anything but I heard the cashier count the coins so I asked if they needed help  
GC: So I could investigate what was going on  
GC: The cashier said that they had never seen so many five cent coins at once  
AG: Whaaaaaaaat.  
GC: So I helped him count and by the time we were finished mister pajama pants had already left  
GC: He left us a tip of exactly five dollars, on a sandwich that cost him less than five dollars  
GC: Maybe Ive run into him before but I didnt know it  
AG: Maybe… He follows you around!  
AG: Look out Terezi he’s right behind you!!!!!!!!  
GC: >:O  
GC: Im blind Im not an idiot  
GC: Anyway Vriska every1 knows him  
GC: If youve never seen him damn you are 1 unlucky bitch  
AG: I would consider it good luck.  
AG: I guess my luck ran out and now I’ve got to deal with him permanently as punishment!  
GC: Maybe  
GC: I don’t think thats how it works  
GC: But it is funny to see you suffer like this >:]  
AG: I’m not suffering.  
GC: Sure you aren’t  
AG: I’m not. I am going to get to the bottom of this mystery.  
GC: What do you need me to do?  
GC: Im assuming thats why you messaged me  
AG: I was going to ask you to be my partner in crime.  
AG: Be in cahoots with me.  
GC: You know crime isnt really my thing >:o  
AG: You know what I mean!!!!!!!!  
GC: Alright Serket Im in  
GC: But only cause it sounds like so much fun >;]  
AG: Just like the old days!  
GC: Remember when we investigated who kept stealing pencils from that freshman in high school  
GC: And we interviewed all of his fellow freshmen  
GC: But then it turned out to be you who stole the pencils, and the erasers too  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha.  
GC: Now that I think about it you were behind most of the crimes >:/  
AG: I think I helped both of us get to where we are now. You should be thankful!  
AG: At least it was fun, right?  
GC: Yeah  
GC: So agent mindfang  
GC: What are you thinking? >;]  
AG: We need to collect intel.  
AG: You interview the witnesses. I tail our suspect.  
GC: When do we start?  
AG: As soon as possible. I will keep an eye out for him. You keep your ears open.  
GC: Hehehehe  
GC: I will find out all there is to know about this sucker  
AG: We’ll update each other with every new piece of information we collect.  
GC: Have I ever let you down  
AG: I am counting on you, agent Redglare!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought changing the typing quirks to be a bit more normal would fit the AU better. I think I did a good job in keeping their mannerisms intact, though!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment <3
> 
> I'm taking suggestions for more local cryptic Gamzee stories. If you think of anything you can send me a message on Twitter or Tumblr (same username)!
> 
> I'm also open to any and all constructive criticism.


End file.
